I think it's amazing that in 2018 our kids now feel the need to wash their own mouths out with soap.
With out being told to do so.....
What the hell is up with the Tide Pod Challenge?
All of us Moms have already been through the first 5 years of their lives trying to keep them from dying from eating anything poisonous, and now they do it in their teenage years on purpose?
Is it the pretty colors?
It is because it looks so light and fluffy?
Is it because you are an idiot?
Likes and shares on YouTube are not the reason to eat a Tide Pod. Do something smarter like a snowboard trick, or slack line, or climb a tree. Don't eat something that could potentially poison you.
I can't believe I am saying this.
Luckily my kids have some semblance of intelligence.
"Kids, don't eat Tide Pods."
"Geez Mom, that's stupid, you know Gain Pods taste so much better," My Smartass son. "It's clean eating for 2018."
"Did you know that some kids like putting UnStoppables like Dippin Dots on their Tide Pods," Smart Ass number two answers.
"Or that pretty pink Antifreeze liquid," Smart Ass Number One replies.
"Yeah, and it's keeping us away from Meth," My other smartass son.
"No seriously, I''m counting the Tide Pods on the washing machine, if there is one missing, I'm going after you two."
"What if we decided to do our laundry?" Smart Ass Number One Asks.
That will never happen. But wait, what if they actually do their laundry?
"Then I'll put a Tide Pod Sign Out Sheet on the washing machine and I can tell by the smell of your room that you've washed clothes, there's no fooling me." I reply.
"I've read that Tide Pods work good in the bath, better than epsom salts," Smart Ass number two says.
"Eat them with ketchup and they'll get the stains right our of your teeth, "Smart Ass Number One adds. "Clean and sparkly."
"With a side of Comet, it dissolves in water," Smart Ass Number Two says.
"OK, that's it. I'm putting the Tide Pods in my underwear drawer with the leftover drugs," I say looking at them. "Can't believe I'm still trying to keep you alive. I thought you grew out of that."
"There's drugs in the drawer? What happened to your Meth?" Smart Ass Number One says.
Shit, I'm just flushing everything down the toilet. At least it will keep it clean and sparkly.