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Friday, January 19, 2018

WTF -Vaginal Steaming

I'm all about the home remedies and letting nature take its course, but during my yoga studies I came across the practice of vaginal steaming.

Of course I do what every reading this is going to do,

google how to vaginal steam:

And I found a YouTube! "How to turn your ottoman into a vaginal steam pot!"


Of course there are over the counter products, like this one.
Then you can buy the whole kit if needed.

I love the tag line, "You steam vegetables, why not steam your vagina!"

I went back to basics of V-Steaming and why people do this:

Increase fertility? No, I don't need V-Steaming.
Help with hemorrhoids? I thought we were talking about the other side?

The article listed all the usual benefits:
Regular periods (I lost that in my 40's)
Lessening periods (what periods?)
Speed healing after birth (don't need that)
A relaxing, pleasant time with you and your vagina.

Wait, what?

I thought I'd try this out and see if everyone saying this natural remedy is perfect for your body was right.

Do not do this at home kids.

First for maximum comfort you can steam through your bathroom toilet seat or cut a hole out of a plastic lawn chair.

Wait, what? I'm not ruining a perfectly good chair.

Ah, here is the squat over the pot YouTube, perfect.

Boil water, add your essential oils.

Pour into to the pot.

Squat over the pot covering everything with plastic wrap (Sounds serial killer to me) I chose to use a towel.

Relax and enjoy the steam bath.

My first thought was, "Well this is kind of relaxing. My Vagina seems happy. And I'm squatting so I'm working my leg muscles. Winning."

Then 5 minutes later, I'm like, "Ow this shit is burning my baby."

Another five minutes into it, I'm thinking, "What essential oil did I use, I'm itching down there."

Another five minutes I wished I'd cut the hole in the lawn chair, my legs were shaking and everything was dripping. But I still think my vagina was happy?

That's as far as I got. I'm not going to spend the money for the commercial kit because space in my house it limited.

I had a better idea.

I'm buying that portable clothes steamer, it's cheaper and it's

Here I am saying, "Sorry honey, I know it's date night, but I'm going to stay home and steam my vagina."

Have you ever steamed your vagina?

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