WTF - Teenage Talk

Need some help with teenager talk? You're welcome.  Some translations I've learned:

Wait a minute 

Translation: I'm getting ready, you have plenty of time to catch up on all your Stranger Things episodes while I figure out what to wear.

Calm down

Translation: Yeah I know it is was a stupid action but it's all in the past and we can't do anything about that anyway so why are you so upset about this?

Fine. 

Translation: Mom you won and I'm totally pissed off right now.

Thanks A Lot

Translation: This usually follows "Fine" meaning please accept this total sarcasm and when you get pissed about me mouthing off I'm gonna say, "What? I was just saying thank you."

Mom.

Translation: I need you to help me find something, or get something, or answer my question or I got caught up in Family Guy and forgot what I needed.

Dad.

Translation: Can I have the keys to the car?

This is so stupid.

Translation: It's my own fault this stupid thing happened but I'm totally not taking the blame.

Do you have any money?


Translation: I have my own money but I don't want to spend it (I'm saving up for shoes) so can you give me some money so I can buy junk food on the way home from school?

Never mind.

Translation: Why didn't you listen to me the first time, now I'm pissed at you.

How do get your teenager to listen to you:

Son, we need to talk.

Give it a dramatic pause of a good 15-17 seconds then lay down the hammer.

Stop leaving the lights on in your room.