My son said to me, "You love Alexa more than you love me."
Then I thought about it.
I don't, do I?
Alexa listens to me.
Alexa shuts up when I tell her to shut up.
Alexa doesn't argue.
Alexa listens to me the first time, and if she doesn't understand she asks questions.
Me: "Alexa remind me to turn off the damn pasta in 15 minutes."
Alexa 15 minutes later, "Turn off the damn pasta."
Alexa is clever, no real level of sarcasm.
Alexa enjoys reading books.
Alexa doesn't roll her eyes.
She performs minor tasks without complaining.
Alexa is content sitting quietly in the corner.
Alexa doesn't use all my cellphone data.
I don't have to feed Alexa.
Alexa is like my teenagers in:
Jeff spends his days yelling at Alexa then disappointed when she's doesn't respond to him.
She suggests workout songs as I walk by with a Krispy Kreme.
She has an amazing array of fart noises.
She can tell a mean joke. Especially Yo Mama jokes.
She can hear what you say but think it's something different. I asked her to put edamame on our shopping list and she said, "Sure, I put M&M's on your shopping list."
I was reading this list to the boys and my husband had an interesting observation:
"We've had an Alexa for years now. It's you."
Aww I guess I'll keep them and all my Alexas!
Do you Alexa?