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Monday, May 2, 2016

WTF - Operation Clothing Rack Camouflage

My husband and I love shopping together, I think.

We ended today with him saying, "What happened to you? Where did you go?"

But, let me back up to:

Operation Clothing Rack Camouflage.

My version of what happened: 

I am the rabbit of shopping, I can scan and pick through a clearance bin within ten seconds knowing exactly what I want.  My husband is the turtle, looking at each piece, checking quality, reading laundry instructions AND determining best price.

I get bored waiting while he ponders 200 different ties, so I say, "Love of my life, I'm going to walk through the women's department."

It doesn't take me long to find the perfect shirt.

I try it on, it fits perfectly and is on SALE! It only took me fifteen minutes.

I go back to the ties, where did he go?

Walking around the department store I finally find him wandering like a zombie in the perfume second.

Why is he giving me the stink eye?

"Hey sweetie, look what I found on sale! Did you find anything?"

"No," he says.

"Really? But you had plenty of time?"

His Version:

He is looking for the best bargain in the clearance rack of ties.

I sabotage his search when he turns and I'm gone.

Where did I go?

He starts walking through the department store looking for me.

Was that me ducking behind an underwear clad mannequin cackling wildly?

Maybe I put on some of the department store clothes, camouflaging myself in a clothing rack?

Maybe I'm sitting in the middle of a circular clothing rack watching him walk by?

Could I be taking a nap in the ladies dressing room?

Where did I go?

Finally after all morning looking for me, he finds me walking to him without a care in the world holding a shirt.

Will she apologize for hiding from me?

"Where have you been?" she asks.

"Looking for you. Let's go."

"Did you find anything?" She asks.

"No," he says.

"Really? You had plenty of time?"

He thinks I'm keeping a few price tags in my pocket so I can attach them to my shirt and act like a mannequin hiding from him the next time around.

My evil plan for domination is WORKING!

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