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Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day Schmother's Day - Use The Card!

I started all sappy and stuff but, well, that's just not my jam.  So listen, here's the facts I know....

If you have children, you are a mother.
If you have fur babies, you are a mother.
You don't have to give birth to be called mother.
If you have feather babies, you are a mother.
If you love someone unconditionally, you are a mother.
If you have scale babies, you are a mother.
If you are the voice of reason for your friends, you are a mother.
If you have babies here on earth or in heaven, or in your heart, you are a mother.
You accepted a child into your heart, a friend of your child or a child in need, you are a mother.
If you listened, offered advice, or simply hugs to a mother, you are a mother.

OK, I'm done with all the sappy stuff,

Pull out the Mother's Day Card! Finally!

Remember all those jobs you keep asking your kids to do and they conveniently forget?  Pull out the Mother's Day card.

"Boys, remember I asked you boys to pickup the trash and the sticks from the backyard."

"But it's 36 degrees outside and snowing!"

"Well, it is Mother's Day."


 This could also be called the Official Sit On Your Butt day. You don't have to get a thing!

"Honey see that Kleenex box across the room?"


"Can you get it?"


"But it is Mother's Day."


Then wait for them to sit down, "Oh, can you get some sugar for my coffee?"

Then wait again for them to sit down, "My feet are cold, can you get me a pair of socks?"

You can pull the card anytime you want.

"Hey, let's watch Jaws together as a family."

"What, I thought we were going to watch The Human Centipede."

"But, it's Mother's Day."


This is the let them do the cooking day, lay back and watch or better yet, film the chaos in the kitchen. I'll never forget my one Mother's Day where the boys brought me toast and a PBR for breakfast in bed.

The best is the end of the day, getting every inch out of the Mother's Day card until I have to put it away for another year.

"Boys, the dog ran off down the street after a skunk."


"You need to go find her."

"She'll come back."

"But it's Mother's Day."

I think I heard one of them say, "Man, this is a long Mother's Day."

I've accomplished my mission. They get a taste of my daily life.

Sure, it's supposed to be sappy and sweet and all that sugary stuff. But when you are mother lover like me, I'd rather keep things real especially when I make them give me hugs and kisses (yes, even at their age) before they go to bed. I take those any day over chocolate or flowers.

Oh, and boys I'm waiting on all the "I love my Mom" Snapchats and Instagrams pictures!

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