WTF - Teenage Talk

Need some help with teenager talk? You're welcome.  Some translations I've learned:

Wait a minute 

Translation: I'm getting ready, you have plenty of time to catch up on all your Stranger Things episodes while I figure out what to wear.

Calm down

Translation: Yeah I know it is was a stupid action but it's all in the past and we can't do anything about that anyway so why are you so upset about this?

Fine. 

Translation: Mom you won and I'm totally pissed off right now.

Thanks A Lot

Translation: This usually follows "Fine" meaning please accept this total sarcasm and when you get pissed about me mouthing off I'm gonna say, "What? I was just saying thank you."

Mom.

Translation: I need you to help me find something, or get something, or answer my question or I got caught up in Family Guy and forgot what I needed.

Dad.

Translation: Can I have the keys to the car?

This is so stupid.

Translation: It's my own fault this stupid thing happened but I'm totally not taking the blame.

Do you have any money?


Translation: I have my own money but I don't want to spend it (I'm saving up for shoes) so can you give me some money so I can buy junk food on the way home from school?

Never mind.

Translation: Why didn't you listen to me the first time, now I'm pissed at you.

How do get your teenager to listen to you:

Son, we need to talk.

Give it a dramatic pause of a good 15-17 seconds then lay down the hammer.

Stop leaving the lights on in your room.

Word Travels Fast

Word Travels Fast around this small mountain community.

Did you hear that? It is gossip traveling on the mountain.

Go ahead a read this to Dem Bones song:

Someone gossiped dem mountain bones,
Someone gossiped den mountain bones,
Someone gossiped dem mountain bones,
Now hear how the word travels fast!

The story got told on the lift bone,
Then word traveled down to the ticket booth bone,
The ticket booth bone connected it to the shuttle bus bone,
Moving it over to the Pinnacle bone.

Some one told some one else at the Pinnacle pool bone,
Helping it travel out to the Fred's breakfast bone.
Someone put their paper down to hear it correctly,
Taking it out and over to the dump bone.

Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around.
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Now hear how word travels fast!

Dat word traveled out of the dump bone,
Moving quickly down to the Bullwinkles bone.
Passed with a pizza at the Alpen bone,
Stopping by Eddies for a hot dog passing the bone.

The bone left Eddies moving down to the pool bone,
Where someone asked if it was really true.
No answer was given so it traveled over to the Fitness Center bone,
Making a quick stop at the Pickleball court bone.
Dat bone then traveled back up to Alpen again,
Then casually mentioned at Buckeye bone.

Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around.
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Now hear how word travels fast!

Finally, the word started down the mountain,
But didn't make it past the Jackalopes bone,
Word does travel fast
But it usually doesn't leave pass the first switchback

Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around.
Dat gossip, dat gossip gonna walk around,
Now hear how word travels fast!