WTF - Reusable Toilet Paper?

In case you haven't seen this, yes, well, this:  Reusable Toilet Paper

Did you know one tree makes 100lbs of toilet paper?

So the thought process here with Family Cloths is getting rid of toilet paper while washing and reusing the cloths.  You put a pile of these pretty cloths next to the toilet with a plastic bin for collection, then wash and recuse.

My first thought is the person who invented this doesn't have boys.

Who eat a lot.

And, well, you know, use toilet paper.

And who uses toilet paper for only toilet paper?

There's makeup removal.

Nose blowing.

And getting back to teenage boys, well let's not go there.

Who's going to wash that?

The instructions say, "keep the natural toilet paper in an airtight container with laundry soap"

I'd love to see someone coming into the house asking, "What's in that container?" Of course, I'd say, "Have a look and see!"

So I'm wondering are you saving money in the cost of extra laundry detergent!

Because I'm not washing anything with used toilet paper.

Ever.

Then the smell. I lived through 6 years of diapers and the smelly nursery rooms. Going back to that again? Especially for a household of four people?

And me using a cloth that possibly passed a child's butt? Or the boys realizing they are using the same cloths Mom used during "That time of the month?"

"It may get a little discolored from use, but washing with bleach ensures the cloths are clean and ready to go."

And those little buttons on it, hello! Poop magnets! Let me get right on digging dried you know what out of them!

Ewww

But we should do something for the earth and give it a chance right?

"Boys, we're using Family Cloths now instead of toilet paper. Don't throw it in the toilet, we wash and reuse them."

I can only imagine the horrified looks! Then probably fifteen minutes later the first Family Cloth I have to unclog from the pipes.

So you can have your Family Cloths, I'll keep my toilet paper and help the earth by recycling my grocery bags.

Or maybe I'll buy a bidet? Laser focused though, you know I have boys.

Then I thought about a house full of girls and Family Cloths.

Shudder.

What do you think? Could you use family cloths?

WTF - Hanging Out

I have a question. When did dating becoming "hanging out."

Son: "Mom, I'm driving to Boone to hang out with (Insert Girls Name Here)"

Hanging out? Isn't that dating?

No, we're just hanging out.

Where are you hanging out?

I don't know.

How are you going to hangout if you don't know where you're hanging out?

We'll figure that out when I get there. Can I have some money?

Why do you need money if you are just hanging out?

Mom.....

After hanging out sesh:

How was hanging out?

Good.

What did you do?

We hung out.

Where.

Oh, a few different places.

Where's my money then.

I spent it.

Doing what?

Hanging out.

I think going on a date sounds so much better than hanging out. Or is a way to not commit?

So Jeff walks into the room saying, "Hey baby, you wanna hang out?"

I'd say, "Naw, let's go grocery shopping."

Makes more sense, doesn't it?

WTF - Things I Will Not Do

Dear friends,

Things I will not do:

Smell clothes to see if they are dirty.

Sniff test anything unrecognizable from the refrigerator.

Wear push up bras, nothing stays in there anyway.

Share my body glide, if you don't know what body glide is--don't ask.

I will not ever, I mean ever step food into another Chuck E Cheese.

Tell my husband "EOC" during an argument. (If you don't know what EOC means, look it up)

Never be rude to a Police Officer,  again.

Believe someone when they say, "We're only going out for one."

Listen to someone who says, "Oh, it's an easy blue, you'll be just fine."

Figure I don't have to time to check if the toilet seat is down.

Pierce anything below my neck. That shit keeps moving down and I'm sure it'd start catching.

Get liposuction, well honestly, I can't afford it.

Finish a book if I've lost interest, ain't nobody got time for that. (except for 50 shades)

Stand naked on my porch thinking, "I don't have any neighbors anyway."

Stand naked anywhere.

Walk through a cemetery at night.

Look for something in a child's bedroom, that's worse than the cemetery.

Stand idly by when I hear someone say, "Hey watch this!" or "Honey, hold my beer!"

Pee in my wetsuit to stay warm, I mean, I'll probably not wear another wetsuit. I didn't like the 3days of trying to get it off my body.

Tell you who I am voting for because I want us to stay friends.

I will never underestimate the intelligence of youth, my kids taught me that.

Most of all I will never forget to laugh each and every day.

What's on your ani-bucket list?