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Thursday, July 11, 2019

WTF - A Social Media Education by my Children

I think I have a different thought process when it comes to social media. My children decided to explain things to me.

"Mom, stop flexing on Instagram," They cry as I take a picture of the Southern Chicken Breakfast Bake Masterpiece and am ready to hit "post the picture."

"Why?" I ask pointing to the skillet on the stove, "LOOK AT THAT!"

"It's embarrassing," They reply.

So what do I do? I post a video to my STORY of them complaining about me over flexing then them cleaning their plate with my masterpiece. They say that's OK because it goes away.

Here's my education per my children:

Snapchat, you can send them pictures but don't post too much to your story. That's called flexing. My children suggest a picture every once in a while. "Oh and Mom, you may want to reply to Snapchats with just a picture of the top of your head." Me. "Why?" (thinking maybe my saggy neck is getting to them?) "That's what everyone else does."

Instagram - "Mom you flex too much." Me. "I put these pictures up because at the end of the year I can get a company to make a hardcover book out of my pictures! See? I'm not a scrap booker, I get someone to do it for me." Kids, "Just don't post any more animals on your walks to you story." Me. "Good compromise."

Facebook - Kids, "Only old people use Facebook." Me. "Good then you won't see me flexing on Facebook because I'm pretty damn funny."

Text Messages - "Who texts anymore?"

"Is that why you always ignore my texts? I see text messaging as saying something to someone and when they don't respond I go into insecure mode!"

Did they not like my text? Do they like me? Did I make them mad? Screw them. I'm never texting again.

Kids, "No why should we respond to everything?"

Me, "Just send me a smiley face or something to make me feel better."

Email - Kids, "What is that?"

Me. Heavy sigh.

Phone Calls - no one talks on the phone anymore. At least I am in agreement with that!

So I'm ahead of the game because I know I can flex on Snapchat and Instagram but behind the game when it comes to email and Facebook - so last year!

Now to get back on my computer and look up: Visco, WhatsApp, and Tinder.

Ha! No Hinge or Tinder for me. But I'm hip enough to know about it.

Thursday, July 4, 2019

WTF - Happy Birthday America!

Today, on America's birthday, I put my new flag up proud to be an American. I am proud of this country. An experiment started by our founding fathers, flawed at times but always rising up to do the right thing.

To me the American flag, all of them, are proud symbols of our heritage. Each has its unique and true story as a testament to different parts of our history. There are several ways to understand the flags and their makers. In Philadelphia, the Betsy Ross house still stands where she made our original flag. I was taught in school to look at Betsy Ross as an American Icon, now I see her as one of the original

feminists. Defying the British and creating the symbol for our country. In May of 1776, she met with George Washington, Robert Morris and George Ross and accepted the commission to create the flag. She knew Washington from sewing ruffles and other items for his wardrobe. The flag was finished in June of 1776 ready for July 4th 1776.

In Baltimore, the Star Spangled Banner house is located, where Mary Pickersgill and her mother created the flag that flew over Ft. McHenry during the Battle of Baltimore in the War of 1812. The flag that inspired a young lawyer named Frances Scott Key to write the Star Spangled Banner as he was negotiating a prisoner exchange on a ship in the Inner Harbor. I used to go to the Star Spangled Banner house in downtown Baltimore on school field trips marveling how small the room was where she sewed the flag. Did you know there is a buoy in the Inner Harbor painted red, white and blue? That buoy is where Frances Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner as a prisoner on a ship watching the bombardment of Fort McHenry. That to me is cool, I remember sailing around that buoy several times when I lived in Baltimore.

In the Smithsonian collection at the National Museum of American History, the Star Spangled Banner is displayed. The size of this flag is immense, 30feet by 42feet! When Mary was commission by George Armistead, he wanted a flag so big that the British would have no difficulty seeing it from far. The boys and I went from the small house where Mary made it to looking at the massive flag and learning about all the hard work at preserving it. On the flag you can see where pieces were cut out for different people to keep as mementos including one of the fifteen stars. Some of the original needles are still in the fabric and the initials of Armistead are sewn proudly on the back. Watching workers in white suits meticulously cleaning the flag and preserving is also pretty cool. The history of what happened to the flag after flying over Ft. McHenry is depicted in black and white pictures with the story of Armistead keeping the flag as a triumphant memento of the war later gifting it to its permanent home at the Smithsonian in the American History Museum.  Displayed in a glass case for 50 years except for two times during WW2 the flag was further restored and is now displayed in a climate controlled permanent installation. It truly is a sight to see!

So I'm waving my flag proudly because America, like me, has things in our past that maybe we're not proud of but we always rise to do the right thing. God bless America and Happy Birthday!