WTF - School's Out!

Here we go - Summer Vacation! (insert controlled sob here)

Summer break means going from saying, "Today is September 26th right?" to
"I don't know, I think we're into June, right?"

It means making adventurous plans in June then trying to cram them into the three last days of break before school starts.

It teaches you a new appreciate for teachers.

It helps you understand why some animals eat their young.

How do you prepare?

Day One - Sleep In. Really, turn off all the alarms and sleep in.

Then wake up at 530am in a panic you're going to be late for school.

Realizing it is summer break - and you can GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Grocery Store Run -

Is it a coincidence the grocery store is having a massive wine sale the same week the kids are out of school?

I think not.

$200 dollars worth of groceries, $197 dollars of that in snacks. This is the first of many grocery trips with the kids meaning,

Watch everything they put in the cart, "We don't need a 10lb of Beef Jerky, No I'm not buying Starbucks Frappachinos, take that collection of snack size bags of Doritos and get a regular bag, it's cheaper. Who added the 12 pack of ping pong balls to the cart?"

Be thankful you're not making lunches every day realizing you are making lunches every day, but at home.


Meal Prep -  2 boxes of pasta, 2 lbs of taco meat, 1 Shepherds Pie, 1 pot of Chili.

Rather than giving my children a PopTart and feeding them for a day, I'm teaching them how to cook PopTarts and relaxing most of my summer break.


Day 2 - Open your eyes at 530a and curse because you're body is used to getting up early.

Find wrappers all over the house.

The refrigerator is empty.

Someone walks by saying, "I'm bored."

Realize teachers are grossly underpaid.

Pray the wine sale at the grocery store lasts three months.

Have you made any summer break plans?

How will you survive?

WTF - My First Summer Wine, I mean Whine.

Sure it is summertime, we can ditch all the school time rules, right?

I mean, I started summer vacation thinking:

"It's only a little over two months of freedom for the kids. I can handle a little over two month of togetherness.

I got this.

I can do this.

Then the first hour of the first day of summer vacation happens.

Every towel is a musty sopping mess on the bathroom floor, including my white towels someone used cleaning up some spilled Red Gatorade.
I open the fridge to an empty bowl of fruit taking up space.
Followed by picking up an empty carton of milk.
Finally realizing the bread is only two end pieces.
Someone decided applying spray sunscreen in the wind was a good idea, going through an entire bottle.
Every bag of chips is sitting open, and all are soggy.
Someone "borrowed" my good sunglasses and scratched them.
I'm still wondering who's gum is matted in the dog's hair.
Socks, cans and wrappers scattered around the trampoline.
They've already started the dreaded, "I'm bored."

So today I'm going to be a mean mom,

I'm going to wake them up at 6am because vengeance is mine.
I'm going to make them sit at the table and eat a healthy breakfast, including fruit.
No computer time until they are outside for at least an hour.
Finish with cleaning their rooms.

Who am I kidding, this will last as long as that last box of Ding Dongs in the pantry.

I mean really, if I wanted to sleep in and have a clean house why did I have kids?