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Tuesday, June 5, 2018

WTF Teenager vs. Alexa

I'm still learning how to communicate with my Alexa, ok, all my Alexas but I have realized that she is much more cooperative than my teenagers.

How does Alexa differ from my teenagers?

Alexa actually listens the first time you say her name.
    My teenagers take about 176 times before screaming like a banshee when they finally do what they are supposed to do saying, "Geez, what's wrong with her?"

My Alexa doesn't require a lot of power.
  I can't even share my grocery bills with you at this moment, they make me weep.

Alexa has an ON/OFF button.
  Teenagers are always in the OFF position. Especially on non school days, then it takes several reboots to find the ON switch but it still doesn't work.

Alexa asks questions if she doesn't understand me.
  Teenagers just walks away.

Alexa can multitask if asked.
  Only multitasking the teenagers do is sleeping and farting at the same time.

My Alexa is polite.
  My teenagers? They'll yell back, "WHAT?!?"

Alexa will clarify things with 36 additional questions AND listen to your answers.
  My teenagers have this sense, teenager sense, to not understand something that involves them doing some work. Unlike Alexa, they then ignore the 36 additional comments clarifying what I want them to do.

I can sit the room with Alexa and relax.
  This cannot be done unless teenagers are asleep on the couch (farting of course)

Alexa goes shopping and only buys what you asked her to buy.
  Teenagers come back from the store with 56 dollars of beef jerky, 120 dollars worth of candy.

Alexa gives me a great fact when I say "Good morning!"
  Teenagers just grunt back.

Alexa is always so chipper.
  Teenagers? Just after noon, when they stumble into the kitchen for something to eat. Grasp that moment because it's gone in 17 seconds.

See how easy it is with Alexa than it is with kids? However if the Internet goes out......well.......

She doesn't listen to anything.

She doesn't know how to turn a light on or off.

Any request is met with stubborn silence.

You're on your own when it comes to shopping.

Exactly like my teenagers.

1 comment:

  1. " Only multitasking the teenagers do is sleeping and farting at the same time" - Nailed it! Lol!