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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

WTF - Kim and His Toilet

So one of the news stories mentioned that Kim Jung Un brought his own toilet to the summit tonight making sure no one knows what's in his turds.

Really, what's in his turds?

What type of information?

My husband mentioned, "I don't know, medication or cancer or illness, maybe stuff like that?"

I was just thinking corn.

So I can't help but think about the conversation about bringing his own personal portable toilet.

What is that?

It's a portable toilet, the president has to keep his shit to himself.

But does he need this?

Yes, we have to make sure none of his shit ends up in enemy hands.

Where do you want the toilet?

Close, he likes to keep his shit close to him, and doesn't want anyone else in his shit.

Do you want it in the room?

No, he doesn't want people to see his shit in public.

One security guard looks to the other saying, "Shit's getting real."

Maybe he's hiding the nuclear codes up there, or perhaps a light bulb like one nurse mentioned she had to get out of someone's ass.

They could analyze his eating habits, like CSI or something.  Lots of Oreos, he's depressed, vegan diet only he's a little crazy or worst yet, beets he's a little blood thirsty.

Then my thoughts travel to what they would find if they decide to investigate the shit Kim creates.

Let's cut it in half, it's a big one. One shall go to Homeland Security, the other to the CDC.

Look! We have parts of Twizzlers in here! Made in America! We have something we can negotiate the trade war with!

"You can tell he's not a softie,"

Wait, I see nuts! He's nuts!

But wait, what is this, it looks familiar.



CORN! They are purchasing American products under the radar. Call the tariff police!

So luckily I'm just a normal citizen, I don't need a portable toilet. I can hide my:

My love of Oreos

They won't find peas but will find corn and peanuts.

That I really hate eating my greens

And worst yet,

Send samples off for national security.

And deport me to North Korea!

What's in your toilet? Or portable toilet?

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