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Kelly Melang, writer, business owner, avid fitness freak.  If you're not living on the edge then you're taking up too much space!

Friday, June 9, 2017

WTF - I Have DCD

I just realized I have OCD, Obsessive Cleaning Disorder.

Before you invite me over to your house so I'll clean it, let me explain.

Typical cleaning day:

I go downstairs to grab something out of my garage freezer.


Notice someone left toilet paper scraps on the floor of the bathroom, go looking for the broom.


Notice the dust pan is missing but still sweep the scraps to the side, looking for the dust pan

Notice they are out of toilet paper.

Walk upstairs for toilet paper, notice the toilet needs cleaning.

Clean the toilet, smell bleach, wonder if I moved the wash to the dryer.

Move the wash, some of the cushions of the downstairs couch are on the floor.

Pick up the cushions notice the crumbs and wrapper stuck in the couch.

Go find the vacuum, vacuum out the couch, find a moldy yogurt spoon.

Take the spoon upstairs, open the dishwasher it's clean.

Empty the dishwasher including the soap dish from the bathroom

Take the soap dish to the bathroom, the sink needs cleaning.

Clean the sink including child's retainers, taken them down stairs.

Realize you forgot the toilet paper you went upstairs an hour ago to retrieve, 

Go back upstairs looking at your floor through the railing noticing dust bunnies.

Go into the kitchen for the broom, find both dust pans on one broom.

Walk the dust pan back downstairs the dryer beeps, fold the whites.

Take the kitchen towels upstairs noticing dust bunnies as you look at the floor through the railing

Sweep the upstairs, find some children's shoes, take them downstairs.

Use the downstairs bathroom, cussing as you realize you still haven't replaced the toilet paper.

Use the toilet scraps because you're desperate.

Go pour a glass of wine.

So you may not want my work in your house, I work hard but nothing gets finished.

I guess you could call it DCD Dissociative Cleaning Disorder......

or rather, let's call it multi-tasking - I'm busy cleaning something else until I remember what I was doing in the first place.

Then repeat the process again.

What is your cleaning ritual?

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