Things you can say during sex and during a funeral:
So if you offend easy, move on dear friend because I'm having a little fun with this one.
I'm so sorry, were you close?
I knew him well.
Do you need a tissue?
Geez, how much longer is this gonna last?
I'm so glad you came.
Normally I'm not a cryer but this one got to me.
Thank you for coming, there's drinks and food after.
I'm so sorry, I always say the wrong thing.
He's in a better place now.
I'm only staying if there's food.
This would be easier if I didn't see your body.
I'm glad is was quick at the end.
Looks like everything's covered.
We need more tissues!
I think it was the second stroke that did it.
Should I say something?
Why does this take so long? I'm bored.
He looks so small in there.....
Look who just walked in!
It's been so long, I barely recognize him.
And of course,
Where are we going to eat after this?