WTF - What Type of Ship Do You Run?

I love when other Moms tell me how much they love running a tight ship. They tell me exactly how much screen time each child has according to their spreadsheet, surprised I don't move everything on the bookshelves when dusting.

I simply tell them, I don't run a tight ship, I run a PIRATE Ship.

Why?

We're usually lost at sea looking for some booty we misplaced in a safe place weeks ago.

There's usually some type of drinking, I don't rule out the rum.

There's also quite a bit of cussing on any given day, as my shipmates do not follow the captain's orders.

Our ship daily looks like bombs have gone off on it.

There's a lot of nonverbal communication involving grunting and such.

I'm pretty sure my Blackbeards are planning some type of mutiny on me.

Most of our clothing looks like it spent its life on a deserted island.

We're hurling straight to the edge of the world and no one's worried.

If I had a cutlass I'm sure there are a few days I'd chop up everything in their room just to teach a lesson.

Who'd be the first person in my family to walk the plank?

Do you run a tight ship or a pirate ship?